Happy New Year… Happy New Me

I didn’t start my transformation last year on January 1st, but I’m going to continue this new me through the new year.

Not all of you know me (some of you are my friends and family), so you may not know the struggle I have had over the last umpteen years with my weight. It’s not a struggle only known to me, many people struggle with their weight in many shapes and forms. For each person, it is a personal struggle that is unique to them.

My struggle has been someone public once I posted the article Confessions of a Carboholic article. Today I am reflecting back on this last year and celebrate my wins (and hopefully let go of my failures).

First things first. I am down about 65 pounds today (depends on what scale I’m on/etc) from my weight on April 18, 2015. So, in less than 8 months, I’ve lost 65 pounds. Without crazy gimmicks. Without making myself completely crazy. If you want to know how I’m doing it, read the Confessions article.

Todays struggle for me is the feeling of guilt at having eaten chocolate yesterday. At not meeting my year end goal by 2 pounds, knowing that if I was just a little better in the month of December, I could have probably made that 2 pound difference. 2 pounds… that’s how close I was to my goal. So the one part of me, the mean evil b**** inside me, ridicules me for missing that goal. But the best friend inside me is proud to get that close to a goal that was really very lofty and was just a pie in the sky goal.

So, today, the new me for the new year is going to say:

“Screw you inner B****! I’m proud of myself!”

This is a quick visual of what I have accomplished:
65 lbs and counting...

I cringe when I look at my April picture, but at the same time, I am the same me inside. I’m just in a slightly smaller shell. The shell I’m in still need to shed another 50-65 pounds. I know that getting to that 50 pound mark is going to be ridiculously tough. I have a couple short term goals to help me get there. But for 2016, my goal is 40 pounds. I’m hoping that’s a realistic goal, but I know I’m going to have to step it up.

So, more movement… That’s the name of 2016. What movement? Doesn’t matter. Just keep moving, move forward, move up, move down, move around. Just move.

That’s what this one personal trainer says that I’ve been following on Facebook and Instagram: Eat to Perform. I haven’t bought their program, and I probably wont, but I really believe in his philosophy. Although I am still staying away from carbs as much as possible for now, if I get to the point where I am working as hard as he does, I will likely need to add them back in to stay healthy and have the energy to move. For now, it’s still a low-carb lifestyle for me since it is working and I do physically feel better and less hungry the more I stay away from carbs.

Yes, I feel more hungry when I eat carbs. You heard me correctly. It’s the strangest feeling, but I will wake up in the middle of the night hungry if I have pasta for dinner. It’s the oddest thing. So, I do have my cheats once every 3 weeks (or once a week this December since it was Thanksgiving, then my birthday, then my Dad’s birthday, then Christmas, then New Years). But during the period between cheats, I really do feel better, more satisfied, and less cranky.

The one thing I’ve been struggling with is what to do here on Dish Ditty. I have been less chatty over the last couple months, posting less than usual. I still was cooking and photographing and writing. I just wasn’t posting. I think I’ve figured it out and as of today, I have posts ready that go through February and into March with at least one post every 3 days. Hopefully by the end of the break, I’ll have posts through March. Then maybe I can focus on my Cookbook for the first couple months of this year.

Well, my long ramble is now coming to an end. I want to thank you all for your support and I wish you all a Happy, Peaceful, and Loving New Year!

Yours truly,

Vivian

p.s. This is the me that is 100% makeup free. My normal every day self.

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